I met a white lioness tonight.
There's an odd opening.
The white lions are said to be a sort of lion that taught men to hunt, and become a strong species. And when mankind is in trouble, they come again to rescue and teach us. The one who told me this is this white lioness, and had little inkling that Kamilah is a white mountain lion.
I make no claim to world changing powers. I did have some profound sobering cap to many other moments, discussing things like responsibility with Eva and Gabrielle over the weekend.
And of course, the topic of personal transformations. Like who Kamilah is.
Kamilah is the child's voice, who sees things she likes, and says so. Sees things she does not like, and says 'no'. She says, "Going to the dentist feels like vacation. Quit this job."
She's that core of person, that inner spark that makes life worth living. Fail to nourish her, and I fail to nourish myself. Ignore her and she will shut me down. She can be my engine or my anchor. She always knows which way to happiness and fulfillment. She sees the wounded and wants to heal them. She sees the oppressed and wants to defend them. And she wants peace and contentment.
She wants the damned world, really, in a benevolent overprotective mother sort of way.
She nearly drowned once, under a pile of other voices from the outside, the ones who tried to tell her what to like and not to say no, and not to have such an opinion on dentists and jobs.
But she's stronger now, and like Atlas lifted the lot of those outside voices, and tossed them defeated in a heap at her feet. Defeated, but not slain. For to disregard all others would be to destroy herself, to deny the need to heal the sick, and protect those in need of shelter.
Kamilah is my voice of direction. These others, advise, and provide meaning.
Never before have I felt such camaraderie.
The trick to the voices of others that we need for purpose and meaning, is to find our tribe.
Some fortunate ones are born in place. Others must go forth and seek it out. Most of us will change tribes throughout our lives as we change into new incarnations, and grow.
In this time, in this point in my path. Kamilah has found her tribe.
Good night, Caledon.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
I'm going to have a bruise the size of Texas on my index finger tomorrow. One out of every three pins just wouldn't penetrate the fabric! Mind you, I've never worked with this quality of fabric before. Still, ow.